When people at Kroger are more friendly than the church I visit, it makes me think deeply about why this is. Disclaimer: this is more therapeutic for me to put my thoughts on paper while I am in this transition phase of “ALL THINGS NEW.”
I have visited around new places in the Houston area for the past few weeks. I have intentionally been to the Wal-Mart in the “wrong” part of town, I have gone to different Kroger’s and Targets just to get a feel for the people and community. I went to churches I found online; researched their values, their beliefs, their mission and their community involvement and commitment to missions. I will not name churches, because it doesn’t matter. I would go back to all of them tomorrow.
I am a preacher’s kid. Since birth, my dad has been my minister…except for a 3 month hiatus which is a different story in 2009. When I moved to We Will Go as an intern missionary in downtown Jackson in 2010, I learned how to approach a stranger, but not a typical stranger. Now this wasn’t hard for me to do in a church setting for all my years at my “home” church in Athens, Jackson and Flowood. This is mostly because people looked like me, dressed like me, smelled nicely, and for the most part were delightful at first encounter. Meeting strangers wasn’t hard for me. Greeting first time visitors was a way of life, literally every Sunday.
But, living downtown Jackson, helped me evolve and put on my “what would Jesus do” mind and encounter every person who came my way. Even if they smelled horrid, had on the same clothes since last week, if they were on something(s) or their mind was clear; regardless of age, it was a pleasure to meet new people every week. To talk with them, listen to them, pray with them if that’s where the situation led. But ultimately, I looked forward to meeting new neighbors, new churches that came to help serve each week for 2 years.
That season of living life downtown Jackson for 2 years, helped prepare me for so many things in life. Especially, this new season of moving to Houston where I know not a soul in my apartment complex, 2 people when I arrived at work, 5 people in Houston from work and high school life. Let’s remember, Houston has 6 million people in the metro area. I am a little fish in a big pond. No one knows me, my accomplishments from work, my ministry background, my family or my dad as the pastor. So how do I get plugged in? Where do I go to serve people, get involved with softball coaching or go be a mentor? Or do nothing…
The white board is empty and I’m ready to start filling up my schedule with activities of service to the community and getting plugged in to a faith family. To exercise my spiritual gifts and to be fed by the Word and be apart of corporate worship. So…why am I struggling with the fact that less than 5 people (in churches filled with 250+) have spoken to me on the past 3 Sundays? Why is this?
Being a first time visitor is a weird feeling. Let me recount an experience:
I GPS my way to the location, park in the parking lot (if I entered the right way), and wonder how to get in or which door to go in. Luckily, I see a few people walk in this door that must lead to the worship center; whew, it does. One Sunday, I wanted to turn around as I was walking the sidewalk in to the church and go to the Starbucks I passed and just have church with my Bible, worship music in my earbuds and a coffee in hand. But the Lord said clearly: I am the same everywhere, do not be afraid, go inside.
But I remembered after today’s experience, the Lord made us relational people. He created us to encounter Him and His people. To be the body of Christ, His bride. To experience communion together (with strangers) and hold hands at the end of the service (not my favorite part), was a gentle reminder from the Lord that we are ALL the body of Christ. He is the same everywhere. His Word is the same Word I read in my apartment. His Holy Spirit is the same (if the environment allows Him to enter freely). And I have felt His presence in each place I visited.
So here is the reason I’m writing. I am writing more for His people. Remember to engage the new faces in the building, parking lot, worship center, bathroom, or wherever you are in the church. Ask simple questions like: What is your name? First time here? know where to go? Have somewhere to sit? How did you hear about us? Open to getting involved in a small group? Where are you from? You could even venture out and ask a stranger to join a few of you for coffee (iced coffee because it is stinking hot outside) later this afternoon or in the week. Invite the first time visitor back for the evening or mid-week service.
In my willingness to go and be the first time visitor, I’m willing to be open and try to meet new people, new experiences. And I would say yes to coffee.
Church, let’s be as friendly to new faces in your churches as your neighborhood market.
jennifer cofer 
I love your heart, your openingness in willing to share such a pivotal point in your life, along with small pieces of where you’ve been and where your headed. Most important, thank you for this reminder to speak first to others, even if your not sure about their newness, speak anyway, be the light! Giving Him all the glory! I can’t wait to see what all He does in you and through you durning this transition. Lots of love friend!
Thank you for sharing your heart and your experiences. As a lifelong member of a large church, sometimes I forget to speak because I’m afraid they might say “I’ve been a member here for 5 years.” And then I wonder how I would feel. But your experience and willingness to share are important. I will be more intentional with my greetings the next time I’m at church.