2017: A year of loss and gain…but mostly loss.

As I see everyone’s year in review on Facebook or #2017bestnine on IG (which I can’t figure out how to do), I am pondering all that happened in my life in 2017. A lot of loss but i’m reminded to remember the gains…just thinking about football – a game of gains and losses. 🙂

I began the year in my downtown Houston apartment, setting goals for 2017. My goals were:

1. start my School of Public Health online application
2. Study and take the GRE
3. Buy a home
4. Pay down/off debt before home buying process begins
5. Take a trip (NYC is my favorite, so that was the preferred spot)
6. Read a book a month
7. Travel overseas
8. Achieve some fitness goals by my 40th birthday in August
9. Run another half marathon
10. Find a church

I was homebound that NYE and New Years Day with the beginnings of a 6 week long sinus infection, that is usually a week or two. Which led to me finding a good ENT physician. (GAIN)

I marched in the Women’s March in Houston for my own reasons and felt empowered enough to share a bit of my story publicly (GAIN).

I started house hunting and that led to a nice journey in which I made a new friend for life along the way, in my realtor. (GAIN)

I put a contract on a new town home I ABSOLUTELY loved, but it had termites upon inspection. (LOSS) But, that led me to find the home I’m in (GAIN).

I paid down debt as best I could before placing a contract on a house (GAIN). My home loans were approved in May (GAIN) and therefore I was able to find houses I could afford in the locations I wanted in the city (or inside the loop if you know the Houston lingo). My mortgage is a couple hundred less than my downtown apartment – SCORE! (GAIN)

When completing my 2016 taxes in March, I found copies of old 401Ks that I had early in my career. After researching, and making sure I marked the box that says – withhold applicable taxes – and thus this small chunk of change was added to my other savings for my home down payment (GAIN). it’s amazing I had never thought about cashing out the small retirement funds, but the Lord reminded me about it “At just the right time.” don’t worry I still have a great investment fund from ALA and MD Anderson. it’s all good you financial experts who want to give me advice now.

I experienced a transition in my direct supervisor/boss/leadership (LOSS & GAIN). That has its own challenges that deserve a separate blog one day.

My work colleagues and I experienced a success by becoming accredited to offer a unique training and we are one of 15 sites in the US to offer it. (GAIN)

I completed the Administrative Leadership Program at MD Anderson (future leaders one year program of leadership development). A HUGE GAIN professionally.

I was able to fly home and see my youngest brother graduate college from MS State University (GAIN). Proud moment as Stephen is so very special to me and our family.

I was robbed at a car wash the week of my closing (LOSS). A snatch and grab as i was in the side by side do it yourself vacuum stations. I had just vacuumed out my front passenger seat floor board, back passenger seat floorboard and moved around to the driver back seat floorboard – i saw a flash of light and saw a car pull off and heard my door shut. I knew that was odd and felt in my spirit the loss. i knew better – I’ve been robbed twice before (once a rental car with stuff stolen out of the backseat of the SUV in 2014 and once at gun point in 2012). I had heard about gas station snatch and grabs so I was extra aware there. I didn’t think that would be the case at a car wash in a great part of town on a Sunday afternoon! It was my favorite cross body REI purse that had been with me since my Mozambique trip in 2011. I had my iPad mini, my iPhone 6 or 7, my Gucci wallet that I bought myself after completing the CEO position at ALA, my car key that matched my specific vehicle, about $7 cash but 2 gift cards for Pappas restaurants.  A lot of lessons learned here. My apartment keys were in the dashboard -thank goodness. My extra car key was at my valet/concierge station at my apartment (they brought it to me). I now keep my car key on my person when i get out. I do not travel with a full wallet – meaning, if i don’t need it, i don’t take it – like all the various cards you have with you: Target card, any prepaid cards, gift cards, etc. I keep my cross body on my person now or have a downsized wallet that fits in my pocket.

Hope that helps you think about things as you go run errands or are out and about. Protect yourself, and be smart and aware. Don’t give the devil temptation to take your stuff you leave out in your car. You never know who’s desperate to steal things and at what time of day/night/location.

I experienced a lot of loss, but I gained hope through a very kind person (GAIN), who worked at the gas station and had an amazing testimony and allowed me to use his phone to cancel all my cards immediately. Which leads me to also say – make sure you have phone numbers and account numbers written down somewhere so you can easily make the call to cancel when your card is lost or stolen. Also the same for your data carrier and plans – couldn’t figure out how to do that when you’re in panic, distraught or angry.

My renters insurance covered some of the contents stolen out of my car (GAIN). Worth the time to file it and remember what all was taken.

That very same week, I had a very large check for my home closing. I’m glad it wasn’t in my purse that was stolen earlier that week. (GAIN)

My home inspection was long – but the builder fixed most of the list before closing day. (GAIN) and my home closing was seamless (GAIN). and my celebration with my realtor was delightful (GAIN)

And my parents came in shifts to help me move (GAIN). Dad helped me with the move and my movers (Loss from careless movers with a few pieces that broke or got damaged). But i didn’t have to move it all myself or coerce friends (GAIN). Mom came to help me unpack boxes and kitchen and bathroom (GAIN). i had several friends who helped me along the way as well (GAIN) – thank you for that.

Hurricane Harvey hit 3 weeks later – i had not even paid my first mortgage yet (see previous blogs). I had damage to my garage and foyer steps, roof and attic (LOSS).

I met my neighbors to my left and right during Hurricane Harvey (GAIN). We all still text, take care of each other and check on each other. I love this.

I lost a longtime friend and colleague, Suzanne in September. (LOSS) I had just gotten to spend good time with her in March at a conference in Austin (GAIN). We group texted for 12+ years up until a few days before she passed (GAIN). Those conversations are priceless. Be intentional with your friendships.

I learned how to manage contractors during the remodeling/reconstruction phase of my house (GAIN). I learned how to be persistent with your insurance until you’ve exhausted all your options (GAIN). I received my insurance check in November to cover nearly 100% of what I spent. (GAIN)

In October, I went to the World Series Game 5 with great friends – a lifetime experience and well worth the price of the most expensive ticket i’ve ever purchased (GAIN). The Astros won the world series in 7 games (GAIN for the city of Houston). The Texans won’t be bringing us the same hope unfortunately 😦 maybe hold out hope for the Rockets 🙂

I never took the GRE this year (Loss). or maybe not 🙂

I ran the Brooklyn half marathon in Brooklyn, New York. Finished in a pretty decent time and got to see a few of my favorite spots in NYC. (GAIN)

I never got around to reading 12 books, I’ve read a few though (GAIN). I was a little busy 🙂 But I’ve already started on book 1 for January 2018.

I had the loss of a unique, longtime, not beneficial friendship that doesn’t deserve more details (read let go of the broken pieces). (LOSS and GAIN)

I was apart of an amazing team of people who had success with the city of Fort Worth, Texas, adopting a smoke free ordinance creating smoke free bars and bingo halls in a major city! (GAIN)

I lost my 95 year old grandfather on December 13th. (LOSS) I had 40 great years with him (GAIN). That was my last living grandparent. I was able to attend the funeral and see all the Cofer side of the family (GAIN).

I was able to go home to Jackson for Thanksgiving and Christmas and see lots of friends. and have quality time with family (GAIN).

I have not found a faith family/church yet. But visited a ton of places and experienced great teaching of the Word and Worship (GAIN).

I still have my School of Public Health application to finish to apply to doctoral school. It’s been a great exercise in following through with tasks in a timely manner (GAIN).

As I proofread this, my year in review isn’t just filled with LOSS – although the losses were so significant, that the whole year felt like it was (hence the title). I chose to rack my brain and remember all the good things I’ve gained this year. I’m sure I forgot some other things along the way, but it has been good (as a believer and Jesus follower) to see how the Lord protected me, provided for me, and has fulfilled promises for me. I’ve learned a lot with every loss and gain. In the end, I win, anyway while on this Earth and when I leave it.

And in true January fashion, my sinus infection has returned – I will turn this in to an opportunity to stay warm, read, write and nap. I will now start my working on my 2018 goals – and they are looking FUN so far! Future post in the making.

Happy New Year’s Eve to you all. Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts and experiences. Praying for you as you read, to be reminded of the Gains and Losses in your 2017 year and hope you have learned from them.

Scriptures that come to mind for seasons of life: Ecclesiastes 3 (MSG)

There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth: a right time for birth and another for death, a right time to plant and another to reap, a right time to kill and another to heal, a right time to destroy and another to construct, a right time to cry and another to laugh, a right time to lament and another to cheer, a right time to make love and another to abstain, a right time to embrace and another to part, a right time to search and another to count your losses, a right time to hold on and another to let go, a right time to rip out and another to mend, a right time to shut up and another to speak up, a right time to love and another to hate, a right time to wage war and another to make peace.

Encourage you to read the rest of this chapter, and Ecclesiastes.